Lord!
Heedlessly not trusting in You, but in reliance on my own
power and will, I looked around in all six directions,
searching for a cure for my pains. Alas, I could find no
cure for them. However, it occurred to me: ‘Isn’t it
enough for you that you have pains as cure?’
In
heedlessness I looked to past time on my right to find
solace, but yesterday appeared to me in the form of my
father’s grave and past time as the huge tomb of my
forefathers. It filled me with horror rather than
consolation.(*)
(*)Belief shows that huge,
terrifying tomb to be a familiar and illuminated
meeting place for the gathering of friends.
Then, I looked
to the future on the left. I could find no cure. Rather,
tomorrow appeared to me in the form of my grave and the
future as the large tomb of my contemporaries and the
forthcoming generations; it gave me no feeling of
familiarity but of fright.(*)
(*)Belief and the peace provided by
belief show that frightful large tomb to be a feast of
the Most Merciful in delightful palaces of bliss.
Since no good
appeared from the left either, I looked at the present
day, and I saw it like a coffin, carrying my desperately
struggling corpse.(*)
(*)Belief shows that coffin to be a
place of business and a glittering guest-house.
As I could
find no cure from that direction either, I raised my head
and looked at the top of the tree of my life. I saw that
its single fruit was my corpse; it was looking down at me
from the top.(*)
(*)Belief shows the fruit of that
tree not to be a corpse, but rather that the spirit,
which is to be favoured with eternal happiness in an
eternal life, has left its worn-out home to travel
among the stars.
Despairing of
that direction too, I lowered my head. I looked and saw
that the dust of my bones underfoot had mixed with the
dust of my first creation. Giving no cure, it rather
increased my pains.(*)
(*)Belief shows that dust to be the
door to Mercy and the curtain over the windows of the
hall of Paradise.
Turning away
from that direction too, I looked behind and saw a
temporary world with no foundation revolving in valleys of
nothingness and darkness of non-existence. Not relieving
my pains, it rather added to them the poison of more gloom
and terror.(*)
(*)Belief shows that world
revolving in darkness to be the missives of the
Eternally-Besought-of-All and sheets of Divine
inscriptions which, having completed their duties and
expressed their meanings, have left their results for
a new existence in place of themselves.
Since I saw no
good from that direction either, I cast my eye ahaed of
me. I saw that the door of my grave stood open at the end
of my way, behind which the highway leading to eternity
caught my eyes from afar.(*)
(*)Since belief shows the door of
the grave to be the portal to the world of light, and
that way to lead to eternal happiness, it provides a
salve, a cure, for my pains.
Thus, rather
than consolation and a feeling of familiarity, I received
only horror and a feeling of desolation from these six
directions. Further, apart from an insignificant free
will, I have nothing with which to resist or oppose
them.(*)
(*)Belief provides a document for
relying on an Infinite Power in place of the
will-power, which is like the smallest indivisible
part of matter; indeed, belief itself is such a
document.
That human
weapon which we call free will lacks power, its range is
short, and it is inaccurate. Apart from serving as a tool
in the achievement of a man’s deeds [which God creates],
it cannot do anything, it cannot create.(*)
(*)Belief causes the will-power to
be employed in the name of God, and makes it
sufficient against everything it may face, as in the
case of a soldier who, employing his insignificant
power on behalf of the state, can perform deeds
thousands of times greater than his own power.
It can neither
penetrate the past nor discern the future, and with regard
to my pains and ambitions-concerning these, it is of no
benefit.(*)
(*)Since belief gives its reins not
into the hand of the animal body but to the heart and
the spirit, it can penetrate the past and the future.
For the sphere of life of the heart and spirit is
broad.
The arena
where the will-power is active is brief present time and
the passing present instant. Despite all my needs and innate
weakness, destitution and helplessness, and while being in
a wretched state due to the terrors and loneliness coming
from the six directions, I have infinite desires and
ambitions extending to eternity, and inscribed on the page
of my being by the Pen of Power and embedded in my nature.
Indeed,
whatever there is in the universe, there are samples of it
in my being. I am connected with all of them, I work for
them. The
sphere of need is as extensive as the eye reaches.
In fact,
wherever the imaginations goes, the sphere of need extends
that far. Rather, whatever I do not possess, I am in need
of it. What I do not possess is without limits. Whereas the extent of my power
is
as narrow as my arm reaches. This
means that my wants and needs
are of infinite quantity. Whereas my
capital is as little
and insignificant as an atom. So,
what does that insignificant will-power signify in the
face of these mountains of needs that can only be obtained
with millions? They cannot be satisfied by it. Therefore,
I should search for another solution.
The solution
is this: To give up one’s will-power, and never relying
on one’s own power, to submit oneself to the Divine Will
and seek refuge in His Power in adherence to the reality
of trusting in Him. ‘O Lord! Since this is the way of
salvation, I give up my free will in Your way, and abandon
my ego. So that Your grace may help and support me out of
compassion for my impotence and weakness, and Your Mercy
may take pity on me because of my want and need and be a
support for me, and open its door to me.’
Whoever finds
the boundless sea of Mercy, does not rely on his own free
will any more than on a drop from the water seen in a
mirage. Whoever resorts to Mercy does not resort to his
will.
Alas! We have
been deceived. We have thought the worldly life is
constant, and have lost it thoroughly because of this
thought. Indeed, this passing life is but a sleep; it has
passed like a dream. This unbounded life too flies like
the wind.
An arrogant
man who relies on himself and supposes he will live for
ever, will certainly die. He advances toward death
speedily. The world too, which is man’s house, falls
into the darkness of annihilation. Ambitions are
time-bounded, but pains endure in the spirit.
Since this is
the reality, come, O my wretched soul, which is fond of
living and desirous of a long life, which loves the world
deeply and is afflicted with countless ambitions and
pains! Awaken and come to your senses! Consider that while
the firefly relies on its own dim light and always remains
in the boundless darkness of the night, the honey-bee
finds the sun of daytime and observes its friends, the
flowers, gilded with the sunlight because it does not rely
on itself. In just the same way, if you rely on yourself
and your being, your own self-confidence, you will be like
the firefly. Whereas if you dedicate yourself, your
transient being and your body in a self-sacrificing way in
the way of the Creator Who gave it to you, then you will
find, like the honey-bee, an endless life of being.
Dedicate it, for your being, your body, is a Divine trust
to you.
